mantra: I will not be pregnant for the rest of my life

(meditation labyrinth used in labor)

I am three days away from my due date. Of course I know in my head this means nothing (how many times have I told my patients, "a due date is just a guess--you could have the baby two weeks before OR two weeks after"), but it's different when YOU are the pregnant lady who can't sleep at night and common movements are difficult. I keeping thinking, "oh, maybe I'll go into labor now that this low-pressure storm system is coming" or like last night "now that there is a full moon, surely this will do it." My sister Liz had her baby at 36 weeks (I am now almost a month more pregnant than she ever was!) I am glad that my baby is full term, but now that she is very very low, in a great position (left occiput anterior for you nosy types) why doesn't she just come out? I know that pregnancy and birth are all about surrender, and I find that I have had to re-surrender at multiple points during the pregnancy. Yesterday I surrendered to the fact that I can't control when she comes. I did this while Matt and I hiked up around Brighton and along Silver Lake (I'm using the word "hike" very loosely to include long strolls). So I guess this is the first lesson of parenthood: you can't control your children AND your children are not you. Last week I finally got everything done that I still needed to do before the baby came. Here was my list:

1. Can a bushel of peaches (26 bottles done on Wed - with help from my MIL, Paula)
2. Pick up breast pump
3. Clean bathroom
4. Drink red raspberry leaf tea and take evening primrose oil every day
5. Do five low squats a day (helps maintain baby's good position)
6. Wash and put away 24 cloth diapers
7. Find joy in these last days of childlessness

Of course, I'm still working, although my last day catching babies was last weekend. Now I'm just in the office seeing patients. I have contractions, but nothing regular. I guess I was right in telling my patients that these last few weeks of pregnancy are all about endurance.