Thursday, February 18, 2010

guest post: we're making a moooooo-vie

Hello, it's Matt.

A few of us here at my school (a public charter school specializing in film production) have been channeling the Bard for the past couple of months trying to turn his snoozer "Much Ado About Nothing" into a feature-length film.

See, as a good writer I recognize that Shakespeare has problems. All that talky-talky, and people being angry and going off in a little tizzy, and other people with love sickness gazing at each other and saying some more stuff, and then finally, right when the play's ending, some people start to maybe almost hook up a little, but you never get to see anything. When you went to the play, it might be cool if they added on this exclusive event, you know, "Act 6: Behind the Crimson Curtain" or something, and maybe just this little exclusive group of audience members could like go back there after act 5 and see what all those people do when they're alone, when there's no audience keeping them in line...all the actors in their little tights and those bustiers and all... And maybe that could be arranged for some extra money, or better yet if you're important politically, or if you know Lady Gaga or something. I mean, if you went to the play with Lady Gaga then you should be able to go back there, because you're so fabulous. Being that she's so hot right now.
But in any production I've ever seen, they get really into all that boring crap and there's really no way to get back to the dressing rooms afterward to see what's really going on with those people after the play ends. Well, probably you could just barge in there, but I'm too scared to try. Also, those dressing rooms smell funny.

But here at East Hollywood, we' think we've solved the uncrackable nut of a problem that Shakespeare created in this major dud of a so-called theatrical production. Basically, we added this fight scene in a biology lab that involves some rotten squid and a bloody cow heart. Before and after that critical moment, we got some non-actors to mumble some chopped up lines from the "play," and we blow dried all their hair to make it look pretty, and a lot of them wear scarves or ascots, and we even filmed a scene at a Mexican swap meet--although we mostly filmed in a stall full of stuff from Thailand, which is going to be pre-tty hard to explain the The Academie. You know, next voting season.

But folks, we're not going to make it there without your help. Last year's production of "Macbeth" ("double double *yawn* and trouble...") cost a whopping $400. We premiered it to a full house at The Tower here in Salt Lake. (The 17-year-old Production Designer shared a jar of pickles with Celeste and me. Nice people!) And now that film is making its way out on the festival circuit. This year, halfway through shooting Much Ado, we've spent about $65 so far, but the beautiful high-definition images we're shooting on our Canon 7D can't be edited on any of our current computers. And also, how will we afford another jar of Premiere Pickles?

So here's the pitch:

Go to our Kickstarter page and pledge some money. You'll see when you get there that there are perks for each level of donation. You can also see behind the scenes of this truly unique process (2 teachers, 30 kids, 2 hours a day for 12 weeks), and a clip of me pretending to be a teacher. In the film, I mean. You only pay the money (and we only get any of it) if we meet our goal, and there are only two days left.

The way I see it, if you've been coming here to this site for the past 18 months to get a free shot of mommy adrenaline from pix of Gigi's funny mug, it's the least you can do to pay it forward. I mean, with money.



Kickstarter Donation Page

Wednesday, February 3, 2010


Due date: July 1